James 4:1-3

James 4:1 - Have you ever wondered where the wars, the fighting and bickering, come from among us?  Did it ever occur to you that perhaps they come from you desire for pleasure?  That each person individually fights for their own reasons? 

This would make me wonder what the true reason deep inside might be for arguing, pointing out problems, bringing up failures, or even turning others to your own side or against another.

James 4:2 - You want what is not yours to have.  You bring harm, and sometimes death, to others that you should call brothers and sisters through Christ because of your coveting thoughts for their abilities, influence, talents, admiration, etc.  Yet you never seem to get it.  This fighting between people leads to nothing that you can enjoy or even desire.

James 4:3 - I know that in the Bible, it says, "Ask and you shall receive.  Seek and you shall find.  Knock and the door shall be open for you."  Yet when you pray and ask God for help on gaining something whether it is an outcome, things, influence, etc... you don't get what you want. 

Have you wondered why?

It is because you asked without actually being on God's side.  If you love God, you will seek a relationship with Him.  That is what two people who love each other do.  In a relationship, you will want to do things that please the other and not do anything to hurt them.  It is a caring and kindness that is focused on the other person.

When you ask for things amiss... it means that you are asking for things for your own pleasure.  It is selfish and self-centered in all contexts.  This goes against all of God's teachings about loving and caring for others.  Doesn't all praise belong to Him?  Shouldn't your actions honor Him?  Doesn't that mean helping those around you so that they do not fall because of your hypocrisy that you commit when you are self-centered? 

When you pray, don't ask for things that is meant for your own pleasures.  Yes, needs and wants should be brought before Him, but to have asked in prayer for things you know will cause another harm in some aspect or way (whether they deserve it or not... whether they were asking for it or not...) is wrong.