"Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in the Lord."
This is a powerful request. A powerful wish. Placing it on top of Paul's caustic and ironic reply that he didn't want Philemon to feel obligated despite owing so much to Paul, we see yet another view point on Paul's part. Paul feels a lot of responsibility for helping Onesimus come to Christ, as well as ensuing that he and his master get along. He avoids saying that Philemon should be nice to him simply because he is a brother in Christ now. He avoids only saying that as a Christian, Philemon should just accept what has happened and forgive. Instead, Paul is pushing Philemon to freely do all this in order to bring happiness to Paul. Not just because Philemon is a nice friend, but because Jesus is working in his life.
In our own lives, things happen and we often say, "oh I should be nice because I am a Christian" or "I should just turn the other cheek like the Bible tells me." However, Paul is showing an example here of a friend asking for a favor as well as an example of allowing Jesus to work in us. The actions might still be the same, but the reasons behind them are not. It is not self-centered, but instead focuses actions towards the benefit of others because of Jesus' work in our hearts AND minds.
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