Tonight I went to a Bible Study group. We are going through the Sermon on the Mount. It turned out to be a pretty intense Bible study and discussion. Afterwards while sitting on the bus, I prayed for God to not give up on me. To guide me. I decided God had something to say to me and opened my Bible. It opened to Nehemiah 9. It spoke loud and clear.
Verses 1-3: God's people confessing their sins.
They gathered together to fast, dressed simply, and with dust on their heads. They have broken their lives down so that their only focus is God. Then they separate themselves from those who would distract them from God to confess all their sins, as well as the sins of their fathers. Then they read scripture and praised God.
Tonight I remember a phrase spoken. Sometimes God reveals our sins. It can be humiliating and painful to deal with. However, the consequences are better than if it had not been dealt with at all. I completely agree.
The rest of the chapter goes on to explain how God's people kept leaving Him, but He was merciful and kept taking care of them. No matter how many times I mess up or break up with my God, He will always be there for me ready to be a part of my life if I let Him.
I really needed to read this chapter. During the Bible study, those with me prayed for me. As they were praying, I was pleading that God would be there for me. Something was wrong though. I felt like there was a huge chasm between Him and I. Then one of the ladies had me pray aloud. That chasm disappeared. God and I have quite the relationship to work on. It is as broken as broken relationships get. However, as long as I trust Him and don't give up, then He will take care of me one way or another.
As soon as I got back to my apartment, I felt like a soldier with my faith in Him acting as a shield. I marched in and declared in Jesus' name that this place was His. Not mine. Not anything or anyone else's. This is just the start. Every aspect of my life will be dedicated and rededicated to Him. Nothing should come between Him and I.
Obviously I will mess up. Good thing God doesn't. I love Him.
This is a place where I am study God's Word for myself. I am a bit of a historian so also including some research into the culture of the times and people that I come across as I read the Bible will be here too. This is just a way for me to share what I learn with others as well as feel like I am being held accountable for keeping up with my devotions. I am lazy by nature and need that small check and balance.
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